Ways I Keep From Writing

Over the past few weeks I've been telling myself to get up, get out and get writing. Hasn't worked out too well for me lately though, so in an effort to procrastinate even more I have compiled a short list of ways I keep from writing.


Planning

Possibly my biggest downfall. I should have figured out by now that planning to write is like thinking about jogging (which I will expound more upon in my next post: Ways I Keep From Exercising).

I wonder if there is a way to calculate all of the mental energy I put into planning about writing?

In the end, all I have succeeded to do is rename the curse of 'procrastination' into the chore of 'planning'.
Note: I'm really good at this one.


I Got Stuff To Do

What a steaming pile of dung this one is. But to be honest, I'm a busy person. I mean, c'mon - I stop at the grocery store, I go to work, I gas up the car, I do the laundry, I was the dishes, I go out to dinner with my wife. Then again, so is everyone else.

I guess I just need to get the fuck over it.

I'm always telling myself to to keep writing down all of the characters and events that pop into my head, like the top heavy woman I saw at the grocery store who wore a D.A.R.E. t-shirt and tasselled leather booties who was pushing a shopping cart full of eggplants and chocolate chips and the whole time I'm praying she drives the Prius in the parking lot with the flame paint job.


Writer's Block

See: Planning


Blogging

I know, you're shouting at me from over top your frothing cappomochalattegrande and you're saying that writing a blog post still counts as writing. In the back of my head where the little people are constantly muttering at me to get off my duff and just put pen to paper already, blogging doesn't entirely count. It's something to do, the way flipping through the channels for an hour looking for something to watch is something to do.


Surfing

A lot of time is spent investigating the interwebs for ways to keep from writing. For the most part I succeed at this. I find insane grilled bacon-wrapped-bacon recipes or videos of kids dancing in a hilarious way on the rug in their den.

Once in a great while I come up with something that thwarts my procrastination and gives me quality ideas that edge me in the right direction.

Like this.