Open Letters to Recently Deceased Celebrities

Dear Michael Jackson,

I loved you when you were black.

Yours truly,
Nick

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Dear Farrah Fawcett,

I am truly very sorry. No one deserves to go like that. You will be missed.

Yours truly,
Nick

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Dear Billy Mays,

I WILL MISS YOUR SHOE-POLISH BEARD AND SEEING YOU IN THE WIND TUNNEL ON THE 'MIGHTY PUTTY' COMMERCIAL. REGARDLESS OF WHAT THE CORONER SAYS I BLAME VINCE SHLOMI'S JEALOUSY FOR YOUR DEATH.

(if you're reading this and you don't get why that's all in caps, you don't treasure Billy the way I did.)

Yours truly,
Nick

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Dear Ed McMahon,

Star Search was the bomb.

Yours truly,
Nick